Communication skills are intrinsic to our wellness. They are central to our relationships and our effectiveness in life. I have distilled a list of six main steps in healthy communication. I discovered I have lots of room for improvement. Hopefully you will find something helpful too.

1. Attitude adjust.

Consider your purpose in the conversation.
Assume the best intentions in everyone.
Stay positive - honest, patient, optimistic, sincere.
Value everyone equally.

2. Check physical factors.

Put away distractions like phones.
Make comfortable eye contact.
Watch your body language.
Watch your tone.

3. Listen actively.

Listen first.
Ask open ended questions.
Set aside judgement while listening.
Listen actively - Don’t interrupt; read back, aka clarify and reflect.

4. Guide your reaction.

Use empathy; Try to see the other person’s point of view.
Practice self awareness -recognize emotions and stresses as they arise and rather than react to them, handle them appropriately.

5. Say your piece.

Pause and ponder. Think before making a point.
Understand how your message might be received.
Tailor your message to your listener.
Use empathetic assertiveness.
State needs, express feelings; Value your own point of view as well.
Be direct; Be BRIEF - Give the "b"ackround, "r"eason,"i"nformation, "e"nd, and "f"ollow-up.

6. Connect and conclude.