It's tough growing up. No I don't mean adolescence. I'm talking about the part when your kids become adults and develop their own independent lives and there you are trying to morph into an independent adult, aka empty nester. ( Despicable term ! )
We are very wired to parent and also to keep the nuclear family intact. I am blessed since everyone in my family holds to that ideal. But they also hold to the ideals of higher education as well as getting married and striking out on their own. And, well, all of those things that we hoped they would grow up and do, well, they're doing them. And as much time as I have had to think rationally about it, and to get used to the first two doing it, you would think number three would be easier. I guess I'm just slow.
The passage of 21 years
It's not like I'm not busy, or that I don't have a great many fantastic people in my life. But the day to day contact with family just isn't there. Thank goodness for the internet ! My contact with kids far away is digital. Thus it has to be more intentional and planned.
When real visits occur, they have to be more intentional and planned. In some ways this is good. That time is so valuable. This is something we may miss in the years before this stage.
So I am writing to the younger parents in the group to remind them about the value of time with their kids. I am also writing to the older parents to remind them to start thinking about what they want to be when they grow up. We tell our kids the possibilities are endless. They are for us too.