Wellness Wednesday: Back to School

Parents all over the world are experiencing one of the biggest transitions of the year: back to school. Whether you have grade schoolers, high schoolers or kids bound for the university, it is bound to have a big effects on your routines of daily life. And that in turn, has effects on your health and the health of the family. 

Summer can be a relaxing time when people are more physically active. Or it can be hectic with guests, vacations, and the routines can go out the window. Take a moment to assess your summer. Determine how you would like to capitalize on the transition back to school. 

For families with kids of any age, getting back on a good sleep wake schedule is key. Start at least a week early. Get back on a good meal and snack time schedule. You should be on that schedule anyway ! 

Sit down with kids of any age and go over their school supplies. Let kids have as much independence as possible in picking their supplies. These are important expressions of individuality. 

For university students, sit down and discuss finances. Establish a realistic budget regardless of where the money is coming from. Make sure they know how to balance a bank account and look up any card balances. Discuss expectations well in advance. 

For school clothes, don’t go crazy. Start by asking kids to tidy up their room and go through their things. Younger ones will need help with this, but let them do as much as they can by themselves. Encourage them to get rid of as much as they can, but go through it later yourself for things you might need to keep for younger children or other kids whom you know. Establish a habit of giving to Goodwill, and likewise, regardless of your finances, teach kids that it is reasonable to check second hand stores for things they might need. This should be given a air of boho environmental cachet, as well as frugality. After that, establish a budget and go shopping, but just get basics until your child reinvents themselves again for that year. 

Make it easy for kids to stay organized. Have an area such as a mudroom with hooks and cubbies for kids to put their things. Additionally, each child, whether large or small should have a desk area of their own if at all possible, even if they have to share a bed. This can be organization central for them. Consider having a family wall calendar, so everyone can see what family activities are coming. 

Teaching kids early on to have a routine will save them tons of stress. There are routines for sleep, eating, exercise, homework, after school activities, family time and play. Teach kids by example. Make sure you have good habits yourself. Then everyone will have a productive, low stress, enjoyable school year. 

Structure Sunday:The Structure of Back to School Preparation

I loved school. But I always hated those back to school signs in the stores. I still do. It always made summer seem shorter than it really was. And yet, now that I am a seasoned parent, I think there are real benefits to preparing for back to school. 

Just about now, it’s time to check in with your kids about any summer assignments they might have had. Don’t be that parent who declines to ask since they want their child to “ do it on their own”. Ask and get involved. Yes, it is nice when kids are self starters, but each kid is different, and you should at least know what is going on. 

It’s time to get together with your munchkin and deep clean their room. Give them some advance notice so that it is not a shock and so it does not interfere with their remaining summer plans. Let them know you might be willing to make some improvements if a good job gets done. Great examples would be a new bulletin or marker board, or perhaps a cool shelf.

Make sure that once their room is clean that everything truly has a place. Sometimes kid get blamed for having messy rooms when in fact there really is nowhere to put anything. Make sure there are enough hangers, shelves, baskets, boxes, or whatever it takes to fulfill the maxim “ A place for everything and everything in its place. “ And of course, most importantly, set a good example and keep your house clean, tidy and organized. People, especially kids, get used to whatever they’re in. You do your kids a big favor to model organization to them in this way. Being spatially organized does so much to lower stress in the house. 

Make sure to supply what they need for school. Make sure the basics are there, but also try to show you value education by going the extra mile for them with their school supplies. Make sure they have an excellent backpack to carry it all. Allow them to express their personal style. 

Make sure you know about the lunch and PE situation to come. Consider a well done home made packed lunch if school lunch quality is marginal. You can even teach your child to make her lunch eventually. Food is a great place to show kids values in action. Make sure your child has a chance to choose how they carry their lunch. 

Attend any orientations or registrations with your child, all the way through twelfth grade if you ask me. 

Finally, survey the back to school clothing situation. Assuming the room cleanup went well, ill fitting, damaged, or unwanted clothing has been given, donated, or recycled. Introduce the idea of starting your school shopping at a good thrift store such as Goodwill. Offer to take some of your child’s friends along. It is a truly fun treasure hunt. It is hip, green, and cheap.Then after that, check online for any swaps or sales, then get what you must new. 

You are the parent and you have a lot of influence. You can have this influence better by what you do, compared to what you say. Your day to day choices about how you interact with your kids convey your values. These back to school  tips will help you your convey your interest in their education, life habits, and health. They help you convey that you care about them. 

Structure Sunday: The Structure of a Hobby

Who could have imagined that the love of horses could lead to so many good things. 

When I was a child, I was enamored of horses. I always asked my parents to let me have a pony ride at the fair. When my family moved into the beautiful Palos Verdes Peninsula in Southern California, horses became a major part of my world. You see, all the homes were situated around a network of riding trails and riding rings that were maintained by the city. Every house had a stable, and every family a rider or two. I got some riding lessons locally and really liked it. My parents and I decided this would be my sport and that we would pursue it as a family. 

I was accepted by an established trainer and he obtained a proper quarter horse. We trained until we were ready to show. It required about an hour and half drive out of town each way, and we did it at least four days per week. I did my homework in the car. When I arrived, I would train for several hours each time. It was dusty, intense and stressful, but I liked it nonetheless. Eventually I showed with my stable, all up and down the Pacific Coast in what was then called the Pacific Coast Hunter Jumper Stock Horse Association circuit.  It required a lot of time away from school which was hard. 

Riding has a way of building you up, no matter how hard it is. You learn tolerance: tolerance for your trainer, tolerance for your parents, and tolerance for your horse. You learn tolerance for the invariably bad weather, like intractable rain making muddy arenas, or broiling dusty heat in the Indio sun. You learn to control your fear and steel yourself as you wait to enter the competitors ring. Nowadays we call this distress tolerance. 

You learn to win, and you learn to lose. You are being trained, but at the same time you are training yourself. You have a chance to meet a great goal by meeting lesser ones along the way and you learn right away the winning takes a long long time and more work than you imagined.

I truly believe everybody should have a chance to pursue something seriously. I think all children especially should be raised knowing that they will be taught many things, and that when they find one that is special to them that they will be encouraged and even expected to learn it well. When young children attend classes for hobbies like ballet, music, riding or marital arts, or when they play sports like soccer or football, they learn that success requires practice over time. 

These traits of distress tolerance, perseverance, courage, and ability to work on a goal are key for success in life. I believe hobbies right from childhood foster these priceless traits. 

When I attended the horse show at Rebecca Farm today, I thought a lot about my horse show days. I was full of pride for all the riders and all they had accomplished. I hope you will go out and attend such sporting and arts events in your community. More than that, I hope parents will introduce their children to something inspiring they can pursue. 

For more information, see rebeccafarm.org.